Oh how I miss you mother!!
Ok, today it's being
a year and a month since my mom passed away.
In meeting new people thru my job, I find it difficult sometimes to go on
with life as if everything is ok. But
everything is not ok, my mom is not here, how can anything be ok. How do I make people already in my life, and
new people I meet understand the depth of my grief. Sometimes when I cannot contain my sadness,
and I start crying, people tell me "let go" and move on. But chingado!! how can I "move on" if I am not
allowed to grief, to cry, and be sad for the loss of my mother? Oh, how I miss
you mother...
I feel sad every time I do something, always thinking Oh,
how my mom would love this or that. Because
of my job, I have to be always "in good spirits" to motivate la
gente. But often times, I think of my
mother, and sometimes I find it insulting that life goes on, without her presence, at least her presence in my
life...Oh how I miss you mother!, how I wish you were still here, if only for a
second to hug you and tell you how much
I love you...
I carry you in my heart forever and I always will, but it's
really not the same. How I wish you
were here, so that I could go to your room like I did every morning, to say
good morning, how I love the fact that you were always waiting for me, I
remember how you will widen your eyes in excitement every time you see me first
thing in the morning. And how you will
always ask, "Ya comiste mijita"
And I miss the looks in your face every time I got back from work. I
guess I miss that feeling of being so important in someone's life. That is how I felt every time I walk into
your room, how much you love me, and how I was everything in your life...Oh,
how I miss you mother!...
I am and will always be thankful that you were my mother. It was such an honor to be with you, to share
with you, to get mad at you, to share your struggles with your long illnesses,
and to be there holding you and hugging you when you died....Oh how I miss you
mother...
I remember that last time we share with you. How happy you were, how happy I was to see
you like that...I remember thinking at that moment how thankful I was to have you in my life. And I remember at that time, how I felt so overwhelm
with love for you. It was such a great
time, the last time I will see you in good spirit....You are always on my mind
and in my heart...But I miss you so very much. Oh how I miss you mother...
This is the last time My mother was well. Four days later she passed away. On November
4th 2013.
